Saturday, December 11, 2010

Translation: Kaiketsu Zubatto, Episode 3

More Zuvatt, because it's fun!

In this episode I deal with the difficult matter of "what to do when a character employs blatant Engrish." Under most circumstances, I might just ignore that kind of thing, or keep in the English words and put them in italics.

Here, though, Killer Joe's speech pattern is so utterly ridiculous I feel it is a crime not to render it somehow. Hence, I have replaced his ridiculous English with ridiculous Italian. I don't speak any Italian, myself, but I imagine this can only enhance the effect.


TITLE: The Magnificent Zuvatt!

[Opening Theme]
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Since the day when I saw that view of hell
The only wind that I feel on my face
Is a wind of revenge, a burning wind!
Hunt them down! Hunt them down, and corner them!

Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
My friend, my dear friend!
My friend, please watch my howling whip!

I am the Magnificent Zuvatt!

[Hayakawa's Song]
Burning red in the setting sun
Lies the horizon on which we made our vow
But whether I love it now, or hate it...
La la la, la la la...
Like you, I will never return...
As so I walk toward that endless horizon

MAN: Hey, girlie...

MAN: Hmm? What's wrong?

MAN: C'mon, let's go dancin'... how about it?

HAYAKAWA: Excuse me, sir. The lady doesn't like it.

MAN: Don't worry about it.


MAN: How dare you! What do you think you're doing!?

HAYAKAWA: Can't you read? The sign says 'no smoking.'

TITLE: The Golden Angel of Sorrow

GANG: Wait there, you!

SHIZUKA: Save me!

HAYAKAWA: What seems to be the trouble here?

GANG: Listen, buddy. Hand the woman over.

GANG: Do you dare oppose the Goldbadge Cartel!? Give us the girl!

GANG: It's Joe!

JOE: Voi are no match for him. My knife is a more elegant weapon.

SHIZUKA: He's an enforcer.


JOE: You know mi? Wow! Bene! Did you hear that? Io have become very famous indeed.

HAYAKAWA: You're Killer Joe. GoldMask's bodyguard... and Japan's second-best knife-thrower.

JOE: Come ti chiami?

HAYAKAWA: Hayakawa Ken. A wandering private detective.

JOE: Oh? Signore Hayakawa, is it? You say io am the second-best knife-thrower? Then who's the best, eh!?

JOE: I like you, boy. You have a healthy self-esteem.

JOE: Capisci? Io am the "Ace" of knife-throwing!

HAYAKAWA: Oh? I see...


GANG: What are you doing!?

GANG: He hit all our gold badges!

HAYAKAWA: Capisci? Io am the "Ace" of Goldbadge extermination.

HAYAKAWA: Why were those men after you?

SHIZUKA: Probably because of my brother...

HAYAKAWA: Your brother?

SHIZUKA: My brother worked for a newspaper. He was investigating the Goldbadge Cartel... but then... last month... we found him, dead...

HAYAKAWA: You think GoldMask killed him?

SHIZUKA: I don't know. But... I have to find out.

HAYAKAWA: I know just how you feel.

HAYAKAWA: I too am searching... for the man who killed my best friend...

GANG: Yeah, he's in here!

YAMANE: What do you want!?

ICHIRO: Save me, papa! Save me!

YAMANE: What are you doing to him!? Ichiro! Ichiro!

YAMANE: Stop it! Please!

ICHIRO: Save me, papa!

GOLDMASK: I love gold more than anything! If you value the lad's safety, you'll give me the Golden Angel!

YAMANE: I can't... it isn't mine to give!

GOLDMASK: Well then... that's too bad.

GOLDMASK: What's that sound!?

GOLDMASK: Who are you!?

HAYAKAWA: All this blathering on about gold... you're as obsessed with it as ever, GoldMask.

HAYAKAWA: They wear the same mark...

HAYAKAWA: You may cover yourself with shining gold... but your soul is the black plague!

GOLDMASK: Just who are you!?

HAYAKAWA: I won't utter my name for a plague like you.

GOLDMASK: Listen, kiddo! You'll regret this next time we meet!

HAYAKAWA: So long!

HAYAKAWA: Is the boy alright?

YAMANE: He's fine. Thank goodness this lady brought a first-aid kit.

SHIZUKA: I'm in training to become a nurse.

YAMANE: Look at this. This is the Golden Angel.

YAMANE: They told me it was forged by Leonardo Da Vinci. It's worth 30 billion yen.

HAYAKAWA: 30 billion!?


HAYAKAWA: No wonder GoldMask was after it...

YAMANE: We had it brought in from Hong Kong at the request of a French buyer... we have to get it to Haneda Airport so it can reach France by tomorrow.

HAYAKAWA: You want me to guard it?

YAMANE: If you would.

YAMANE: Obviously, I've asked the police, too. The Goldbadge Cartel thinks they have the real one. The police think so too. But theirs is a fake.

HAYAKAWA: I see. So it's a decoy to send the enemy in the wrong direction.

YAMANE: Only I know about it. You're the only one I can turn to.

HAYAKAWA: Very well. But I have a condition. I want you to take care of Shizuka here.

SIGN: New King Hotel

HAYAKAWA: This way, please.

MIDORI: Osamu!

OSAMU: Midori!

MIDORI: A bellhop uniform? Are you working here now?

OSAMU: Yeah.

MIDORI: What's wrong?

OSAMU: The bellboy who just passed by looked like Mr. Hayakawa.

MIDORI: You must have him wrong. Why would Mr. Hayakawa have a job here?

HAYAKAWA: Those men are after Shizuka. And you, and Ichiro too... so I don't want you anywhere near the car.

YAMANE: I promise, we won't.

HAYAKAWA: And Shizuka... you'll be staying in the next room over. I chose the room personally, so no one else will know you're there.

SHIZUKA: Thank you... for all you've done.

HAYAKAWA: They knew that the real one was in this car... how could they have known?

HAYAKAWA: Then they might be in the hotel, too...

HAYAKAWA: Mr. Yamane! Mr. Yamane!

HAYAKAWA: Ichiro! Stay with us!

HAYAKAWA: How did they know we were here!?

HAYAKAWA: Shizuka... did they hurt you?

HAYAKAWA: Shizuka!

YAMANE: Ichiro... don't give up! Ichiro! It's going to be alright! Ichiro! Don't give up! Stay with me!

SIGN: Surgery In Progress

YAMANE: Hayakawa... you said the hotel would be safe! Then how... did you see what happened to Ichiro!?

HAYAKAWA: Please forgive me... I take full responsibility.

YAMANE: I'm sorry for what I said... it isn't your fault. It's mine.

EYECATCH: The Magnificent Zuvatt

BOSS: Fool!

GOLDMASK: Boss L! Why are you hitting me!?

BOSS: Where is the Golden Angel!? Is it still in Hayakawa Ken's hands!? If you are truly a member of the evil organization Dakkar... you will kill Hayakawa without fail! Get him in your power, make him suffer! And then kill him without mercy!

GOLDMASK: Boss L! You have no need to tell me... Hayakawa's life is but a candle in the wind!

GOLDMASK: Let me tell you... the lovely little spy I've been keeping up my sleeve is with him right now!

HAYAKAWA: I removed the bullets earlier.

SHIZUKA: How... how did you know?

HAYAKAWA: The location of the real angel... that we were hiding out in the hotel... who else could have told them?

SHIZUKA: If you knew... then why!?

HAYAKAWA: I wanted to see if you were really the kind of woman who could kill in cold blood.

HAYAKAWA: Shizuka...

HAYAKAWA: Who's there!? Shizuka!

HAYAKAWA: Shizuka!

SHIZUKA: Mr. Hayakawa... I'm so happy... I met you...

HAYAKAWA: Shizuka!

HAYAKAWA: If that evil organization is behind this... Shizuka, I swear will destroy them!

GANG: What do you want!?

HAYAKAWA: Killer Joe! I didn't think you were the kind of beast to knife a woman... and from behind, even...

JOE: Che cosa? What is it, Signore Hayakawa?

HAYAKAWA: Don't play dumb. Shizuka is dead... and I know you killed her!

JOE: I don't know what you're talking about. But if you're spoiling for a fight...

JOE: Magnifico, baby. But try this technique on for size.

JOE: I'll pierce your heart with this heart!

HAYAKAWA: How dare you...

JOE: Io have never... killed a woman...

HAYAKAWA: GoldMask! Are you the one who killed Shizuka!?

GOLDMASK: And her brother, that pesky reporter, too!

HAYAKAWA: How dare you...

GOLDMASK: Oh! Watch yourself there, kiddo.

GOLDMASK: Don't kill him right off, boys. We need to make him suffer, first. Do it!

GANG: Take that!

GANG: Get up!

GOLDMASK: You ridiculous fool! I've something I'd like to show you... the Golden Angel. It was considerate of you to drive it here for us. Open it!

GOLDMASK: Ah! He tricked us!

GOLDMASK: Hayakawa's gone! Men! Find and kill him!

GOLDMASK: Wh-what's that sound!?

GOLDMASK: Who do you think you are!?

HAYAKAWA: Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case! They call me the wandering hero... the Magnificent Zuvatt!

GOLDMASK: Magnificent Zuvatt!?

HAYAKAWA: You killed a reporter who learned of your gold thefts... you hurt a father and son who had done you no harm, and you even killed Shizuka! GoldMask... you will pay!

GOLDMASK: Stop, I'll give you anything I own! Just spare me! A golden chest! A golden ashtray! Or perhaps... a golden gun!

HAYAKAWA: GoldMask! I want none of the fruits of your evil... allow me to return it!

[Insert Song]
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Since the day when I saw that view of hell
The only wind that I feel on my face
Is a wind of revenge, a burning wind!
Hunt them down! Hunt them down, and corner them!

Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
My friend, my dear friend!
My friend, please watch my howling whip!

I am the Magnificent Zuvatt!

HAYAKAWA: You killed Asuka Goro, didn't you!?

GOLDMASK: I didn't!


GOLDMASK: I killed Shizuka, but... I've never known a man named Asuka Goro!

HAYAKAWA: What's that!?

HAYAKAWA: Just one minute left...

HAYAKAWA: Tell me the truth!

HAYAKAWA: Zuvatt Attack!!

HAYAKAWA: This isn't the man who killed Asuka.

CARD: This is the man behind the murders.

TOJO: Take him away.


TOJO: Hayakawa. The real Golden Angel reached Haneda, just as you asked.

HAYAKAWA: Thank you.

HAYAKAWA: Asuka... I swear I will find the man who killed you!

YAMANE: Ichiro. I'm so glad you're feeling better.

MIDORI: Mr. Hayakawa!

OSAMU: Mr. Hayakawa!

MIDORI: Mr. Hayakawa!

[Ending Theme]
There is a road that a man must walk
That road is his to walk alone
When he devotes his life to a burning wish
He seeks what lies beyond the mountains

Through love and truth and suffering
The way of battle is like the fires of hell
And though he does not know what lies beyond...
That road is his to walk alone

NARRATOR: Children in the audience, please do not try the stunts you see here at home! They are extremely dangerous!

NARRATOR: Next time, Midori follows Ken on his journey, and finds herself in the hands of Dakkar!

NARRATOR: Next time on The Magnificent Zuvatt: A Critical Strike, Through Tears!

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