Monday, February 7, 2011

Translation: Kaiketsu Zubatto, Episode 6

Because there is insufficient Zu-VATT in these parts, it is time for episode six!

This episode features a Hayakawa going totally balls-out insane on the villains of the week, shoving a gun into a dude's mouth and beating up on Pirate Kidd for not one, but two verses of his theme song.

On the less-enjoyable side, it also features possibly the worst Native American caricature this side of Peter Pan. Sadly, I can't rewrite the show and make him not speak in stereotypically halting third-person. View it as an artifact of stupider times, I guess.

(Or do what I do, and imagine that Red Boar is just meant to be a Japanese yakuza who likes playing dress-up to make his throwing axes seem more intimidating. This makes a lot of the bodyguard battles more fun, actually.)

However you decide to view it, the script is below the cut.

0:00:30
TITLE: The Magnificent Zuvatt!

[Opening Theme]
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Since the day when I saw that view of hell
The only wind that I feel on my face
Is a wind of revenge, a burning wind!
Hunt them down! Hunt them down, and corner them!

Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
My friend, my dear friend!
My friend, please watch my howling whip!

I am the Magnificent Zuvatt!


0:02:02
HAYAKAWA: Thanks!

BOATMAN: Sure! Be careful out there!

0:02:22
TITLE: Machine Guns Over the Ocean's Roar

SIGN: Ito Central Bank

0:02:27
ROBBER: Stay back! Don't move!

KAYOKO: Don't worry, it's going to be fine.

SANTA: I'm gonna take out the bank bandits!

KAYOKO: Santa! Oh, are you okay!?

ROBBER: You'll pay!

0:03:16
ROBBER: Who do you think you are!?

HAYAKAWA: I was about to ask the same thing. It's not spring cleaning, yet you've got rags over your faces... just who do you people think you are?

ROBBER: Rags!?

0:04:00
HAYAKAWA: Move a muscle, and you won't like what happens.

HAYAKAWA: Now then... won't you take me to your boss, Pirate Kidd?

HAYAKAWA: Tell me where he is.

0:04:45
HAYAKAWA: That laugh...

HAYAKAWA: Just like when they killed Asuka!

KIDD: This is what happens to scum who work against Pirate Kidd. Do it!

0:05:40
TOJO: You say you saw the gang's faces?

KAYOKO: Yes, the young man knocked their masks off with his pistol. Do you remember?

TOJO: I see. There's only one man capable of that... do you know where the gang took him?

0:06:04
MIDORI: Osamu, look!

MIDORI: Mr. Hayakawa!

OSAMU: Mr. Hayakawa!

OSAMU: Mr. Hayakawa!

MIDORI: Mr. Hayakawa!

MIDORI: We have to get him to a hospital... stay with us! Mr. Hayakawa!

0:06:33
KIDD: Forgive me, Boss L! We'll have another go at the bank, I swear!

BOSS L: That's not enough! You must destroy all witnesses! Members of the evil organization Dakkar must be thorough! Those who saw the faces of your subordinates must pay! Kill them! Kill them all!

0:07:00
TOJO: Stop the car.

OSAMU: Mr. Hayakawa! Hang in there!

ROBBER: Hurry! Let's go! Come on!

0:07:30
SANTA: Mister! Mister, are you awake?

KAYOKO: Thank goodness.

SANTA: I saw you, Mister! Bang! You were so cool! I knew you wouldn't die.

HAYAKAWA: Where am I?

TOJO: A family hotel.

HAYAKAWA: Tojo!

TOJO: This lady runs it. We thought they might find you if we took you to a hospital. We can hide you here.

HAYAKAWA: Thank you...

TOJO: But Hayakawa, you never fail to amaze me. I don't know another man who could have survived that.

HAYAKAWA: Tojo... did you save me?

TOJO: It's those two you should be thanking.

MIDORI: I'm glad we were in time, Osamu.

OSAMU: Yeah.

TOJO: Keep a 24-hour watch on them.

0:08:53
HAYAKAWA: Wait, Tojo. Why did you hide it? That bank was attacked again, and people were killed.

TOJO: Did the woman tell you?

HAYAKAWA: I'm not a fool! Pirates never leave witnesses alive. That's why you have those detectives looking after that woman and her child, isn't it?

TOJO: That's right. So what?

HAYAKAWA: Pirates who kill innocent witnesses need to pay. I will take them down.

TOJO: Don't be a fool, Hayakawa.

HAYAKAWA: What was that?

TOJO: What can you do in your condition? Don't you realize it's your fault these people are in danger?

TOJO: If you hadn't unmasked those five bandits, the witnesses wouldnever have been targeted!

TOJO: Anyway, Hayakawa, stay out of this. Leave it to the police. Anything you do will just get more innocents involved.

0:10:29
AKEMI: Please don't kill me... I won't tell anyone who you are.

ROBBER: Our boss wants to see you.

AKEMI: Don't kill me, please! I beg you! I beg you! I swear, I won't tell anyone!

0:11:00
ROBBER: Who's there!?

HAYAKAWA: I see the gang's all here. A perfect set, in mint condition.

ROBBER: You... you're still alive!? Fire!!

ROBBER: Get him!

0:11:24
ROBBER: Find him!

ROBBER: He's not here!

ROBBER: Look harder!

ROBBER: What a fool...

HAYAKAWA: Hello there, my mint condition friends.

HAYAKAWA: My friends... won't you show me the way to hell?

0:12:14
HAYAKAWA: Ah. There you are, Red Boar.

REDBOAR: You know Red Boar's name. Very wise man.

HAYAKAWA: Red Boar is Pirate Kidd's bodyguard. Everyone knows that.

REDBOAR: Red Boar that famous?

HAYAKAWA: Ah, very famous. Well-known for your skill with the tomahawk... but! Only the second-best in the world.

REDBOAR: Second-best? Who better than Red Boar?!

REDBOAR: Y-You? You stupid man! Fight me, stupid man!

HAYAKAWA: If I win, swear you'll never touch this woman again.

REDBOAR: Red Boar winning man.

REDBOAR: Red Boar best in world.

REDBOAR: That my prized weapon! What you do to it!?

HAYAKAWA: Me, 'smoking man.'

HAYAKAWA: Who 'best in world' now?

0:14:42
TOJO: Hayakawa, you should have called us.

HAYAKAWA: Tojo... you tend to pull up the line after the fish has already fled... but if you really want to catch a culprit, you can't waste your time on calls.

TOJO: You're the fool putting innocents in danger. Leave this to the police. We will catch those pirates.

HAYAKAWA: You can't keep pushing your body like this. It might kill you.

0:15:27
EYECATCH: The Magnificent Zuvatt

0:15:30
HAYAKAWA: What's the trouble, ma'am?

KAYOKO: Santa... my Santa is...

HAYAKAWA: 'We have the boy. If you want him back, have Hayakawa come alone to the villa on the eastern cliff. If you tell the police about this, the child will die.'

HAYAKAWA: Have I gotten Santa involved, as well?

KAYOKO: What... what is going to happen to my child?

HAYAKAWA: Pirate Kidd... you will pay!

SANTA: Mister!

HAYAKAWA: You're safe now, son. Here we go.

0:16:16
KIDD: Sorry, it's not gonna happen.

HAYAKAWA: How dare you... you said you would release the boy!

KIDD: Such deals mean nothing to Pirate Kidd. Now you'll both die.

0:16:40
KIDD: I'm leaving this to you, Red Boar. But don't kill them both right off.First, take the child's ear. Then his legs, then his arms. Once Hayakawa has suffered completely, you may kill him.

HAYAKAWA: Red Boar... torture me instead!

KIDD: Red Boar, do it.

HAYAKAWA: Stop it!

KIDD: Fool. He threw himself to hell. Red Boar... kill the kid.

KIDD: What is that!?

0:17:44
HAYAKAWA: Flight switch, on!

0:18:07
HAYAKAWA: Get out of here, son!

KIDD: Who are you!?

HAYAKAWA: Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case! They call me the wandering hero... the Magnificent Zuvatt!

HAYAKAWA: You killed the witnesses to the bank robbery, and you tried to kill a blameless child, as well. Pirate Kidd... you will pay!

KIDD: Get him!

[Opening Song/1st verse]
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Since the day when I saw that view of hell
The only wind that I feel on my face
Is a wind of revenge, a burning wind!
Hunt them down! Hunt them down, and corner them!

Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
My friend, my dear friend!
My friend, please watch my howling whip!

I am the Magnificent Zuvatt!


0:18:59
REDBOAR: Red Boar, strong man! You, dead man!

0:19:43
REDBOAR: Magnificent Zuvatt... you strong man. Wise man!

[Opening Song/2nd verse]
Since the day when I saw that view of hell
The only flame that burns in my heart
Is a blue-red flame, the fire of hate
Burn! Burn higher, and higher!

Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
My friend, my dear friend!
My friend, do you see this shower of sparks?
I am the Magnificent Zuvatt!


0:20:10
KIDD: Spare me! Spare me please! I surrender!

[Opening Song/3rd verse]
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!

Since the day when I saw that view of hell
The song that I play, the song that I sing
Is a melody of rage, in the language of hell
Cry out! Cry out, until this is done!

Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
My friend, my dear friend!
My friend, can you hear my victory song?
I am the Magnificent Zuvatt!


0:21:11
HAYAKAWA: Did you kill a man named Asuka Goro!?

KIDD: No!

HAYAKAWA: Then, tell me who did!

KIDD: I don't know!

HAYAKAWA: Are you sure?

KIDD: I'm sure!

HAYAKAWA: Zuvatt Attack!

0:21:42
HAYAKAWA: But then... who killed Asuka? Who could it be!?

CARD: This is the man behind the bank bandit killings.

HAYAKAWA: Asuka... your killer wasn't Pirate Kidd. But I swear, I will find the true culprit.

SANTA: Mama! Where's Mr. Hayakawa?

HAYAKAWA: He went home today. He told me to give you his regards!

SANTA: Oh, no!

OSAMU: Do you know where Mr. Hayakawa went?

KAYOKO: I couldn't say...

OSAMU: Santa, let's follow Mr. Hayakawa!

SANTA: Sure! I gotta thank him!

SANTA: Hey Mister!

MIDORI: Mr. Hayakawa!

0:23:22
[Ending Theme]
There is a road that a man must walk
That road is his to walk alone
When he devotes his life to a burning wish
He seeks what lies beyond the mountains

Through love and truth and suffering
The way of battle is like the fires of hell
And though he does not know what lies beyond...
That road is his to walk alone


NARRATOR: Pirate Kidd wasn't the true killer, either! A new strange assassin appears: Dousai the Invincible! Zuvatt's whip howls with rage!

NARRATOR: Next time, on The Magnificent Zuvatt: A Bad Wind in a Harbor Town!

NARRATOR: And of course, don't try any of these stunts at home!

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