Sunday, September 18, 2011

Translation: Kaiketsu Zubatto, Episode 8

This episode opens with the single greatest thing you will ever see. Not in tokusatsu, not in Japanese entertainment -- the greatest thing anywhere, ever.

The boss of this episode is named Mickey Hebiyama, whose name literally means "Snake Mountain." I gave real thought to calling him "Mickey Snakes" since he's such a gangster type and Hayakawa ends up punning off the name, but it seemed a little over the top even for this show.

As a compromise, I left it so that most of the time he's Mickey Hebiyama, but Hayakawa and Shinkichi occasionally refer to him derisively as "Mickey the Snake" to help the meaning of his name come through in English.

The bodyguard in this episode is Jigoku-ichi, who is a pretty obvious parody of the famous blind swordsman Zatoichi. The "Jigoku" in his name means "hell," but since no one puns off that part of his name, and the Zatoichi reference is more important than the "hell" part, I just left it intact.

Also, for those wondering about the little round statue Hebiyama's leaning on in the first scene where he appears: it's a daruma. In Japanese tradition, you blacken in one of the eyes when you start in on a new ambition, then blacken in the second eye when you achieve it. It's a pretty standard thing to see in a political candidate's office.

TITLE: The Magnificent Zuvatt!

[Opening Theme]
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Since the day when I saw that view of hell
The only wind that I feel on my face
Is a wind of revenge, a burning wind!
Hunt them down! Hunt them down, and corner them!

Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
My friend, my dear friend!
My friend, please watch my howling whip!

I am the Magnificent Zuvatt!

[Hayakawa's Song]
Burning red in the setting sun
Lies the horizon on which we made our vow
But whether I love it now, or hate it...
La la la, la la la...
Like you, I will never return...

SIGN: Put an end to violence

SIGN: Drive out the Viper Peace Society!

SHINKICHI: You eat just like a little wolf, don't you!

OSAMU: Well, I haven't eaten anything all day!

SHINKICHI: Sorry to hear that.

MIDORI: Thank you for all your help.

SHINKICHI: Just help yourself. It's the least we can do.

TITLE: Propane Explosion of Sorrow

SIGN: Viper Peace Society Headquarters

SIGN: Candidate for Mayor
SIGN: Mickey Hebiyama
SIGN: President, Viper Peace Society

MICKEY: So all went well, eh?

GANG: Yes. Just as you ordered, boss.

MICKEY: Hey, call me President! I'm gonna be mayor come next election, y'know.

GANG: And soon, those little idiots conspiring against you in their rusty shack will be gone.

MICKEY: With that shack filled up with propane, the minute someone strikes a match...

GANG: Boom!

MIDORI: Are these Viper Peace Society really such bad men?

SHINKICHI: Yes. They may act like civilized men, but they can't fool us. Their boss, Mickey Hebiyama, is a gangster!

WOMAN: They're not going to turn our town into a gangster town!

MAN: That's why we're fighting back! Right?

SHINKICHI: That's right. I'm gonna take a picture of the shack!

MAN: Silly Shinkichi. He just has to show off his new telephoto lens!

WOMAN: He wants to get a shot of the Viper Peace Society doing something illegal!

WOMAN: Hey, does something smell funny in here?

OSAMU: Sorry! I haven't taken a bath for a month!

MAN: What!?

WOMAN: I should make us some tea, right?

MAN: If you would.

MIDORI: Hey, it's Mr. Hayakawa! There, on that bulldozer!

OSAMU: It is him!

OSAMU: Mr. Hayakawa!

WOMAN: Hey, do you still want tea?

MAN: Light the burner!

WOMAN: Okay!

NEWS: Mysterious explosion in prefab shack
NEWS: Accident or Sabotage!?
NEWS: A friend's tragic on-site photograph

SHINKICHI: I can't believe my camera caught the moment of their death...

MIDORI: Please, Mr. Tojo! Arrest Mickey Hebiyama now!

TOJO: I'm sorry you're upset, Ms. Midori, but we have to run a proper investigation.

MIDORI: But their bright smiles... I can't... I can't...

HAYAKAWA: Shinkichi, follow me!

HAYAKAWA: Where are the negatives for this picture?

HAYAKAWA: Take a close look at this. Do you see something there behind the shack ruins?

HAYAKAWA: If this is a human being, they might have seen who planted the propane bomb. But we'll need to check the negatives. Let's go.

SHIN: They're gone! Mr. Hayakawa, the negatives have been stolen!

HAYAKAWA: It must be the Viper Peace Society.

MICKEY: Who the hell are you!?

HAYAKAWA: Well, Mr. Snake. Won't you return the negatives?

MICKEY: What's that? Return negatives? I don't know who you are or where you came from, but I won't stand for your slanderous talk! I, Mickey Hebiyama, will soon be mayor of this town!

HAYAKAWA: If your part in the bombing gets exposed, you'll lose the election.

MICKEY: That would be a nice story. But you've got no proof!

HAYAKAWA: I intend to get you by the tail.

MICKEY: Do it.

GANG: Take this!

MICKEY: Master! Master! Master!

JIGOKU: Yes, yes, yes.

JIGOKU: Yes, yes... I'm right here.

JIGOKU: So you're the famous Hayakawa. Aren't you?

HAYAKAWA: Do you intend to stand in my way... Jigoku-ichi?

JIGOKU: Oh... you know my name, sir?

HAYAKAWA: I've heard you're the master of the cane sword. However... your skill is only second in Japan.

JIGOKU: Then you are saying... there is another better than I?

HAYAKAWA: Right before your eyes.

JIGOKU: Shall we settle this then, sir?

JIGOKU: Mr. Hayakawa. Could you do this?

JIGOKU: President! Check it.

MICKEY: You're right! This is the negative of the moment of the explosion! You're a master, as always, Jigoku-ichi.

GANG: President!


GANG: This girl has been spying on us!

MICKEY: This is what you get!

JIGOKU: President. President, sir. I think this could make things interesting. Would you let me borrow the woman?

MICKEY: Oh, have you got use for her?

JIGOKU: Well, maybe. Hand me some cloth.

JIGOKU: Mr. Hayakawa. Can you take the negative using only this?

MICKEY: Now this IS interesting! One little mistake and this girl's pretty face gets split in two!

MIDORI: Mr. Hayakawa...

MICKEY: Wait, Hayakawa! We want this to be a fair competition! You should wear a blindfold, too!

MIDORI: Mr. Hayakawa. I'll be alright. I believe in you.

MICKEY: Hey! Where's the negative? Where's the negative!?

HAYAKAWA: Try opening your eyes. Well, Snake? As promised... I'll be taking the negative and Midori as well.

MICKEY: Damn you!

SHIN: It's Miki!

MIKI: Listen... about the man I saw arming the propane bomb...

MAID: My Lady! You must not speak of such things. Do you understand? If you tell anyone of this, you will surely be killed!

MIKI: But... the man who killed those people... I can still remember his face! I'm sure he was from the Viper Peace Society.

MAID: Be quiet! If those men should happen to hear you speaking that way...

GANG: I'm afraid we already have.

MIKI: My eyes! My eyes!



MICKEY: The witness, Nagisa Miki, has been blinded and can no longer serve as an eyewitness! I'm now guaranteed success in the next mayoral election!

BOSS: To think, Dakkar will produce its first mayor!

MICKEY: My fellow citizens! Please cast your vote for Mickey Hebiyama -- Mickey Hebiyama, ally of justice!

SHINKICHI: Everyone! Please, don't be deceived! This man is a murderer! If you elect this man, he'll turn the town over to gangsters!

GANG: And just where is your proof!?

GANG: Just who are YOU, anyway!?

GANG: Get this punk outta here!

WOMAN: Mr. Hebiyama is a wonderful person!

SHINKICHI: You're all being deceived!

GANG: Shut up! He's an instigator! Get him!

MICKEY: Listen, everyone, please! These charges leveled against me are false! Just as you all bravely expelled those two gangsters, I too will fight against immorality, violence, and organized crime! I am the president of the Viper Peace Society, Mickey Hebiyama!

SHINKICHI: Mr. Hayakawa... is there nothing we can do? Are we just going to let him become the mayor of our town!?

SHINKICHI: Mickey the Snake! I'll never let you become our mayor!

MICKEY: I'm sick of this kid's whining. Do as you like with him. Make sure no one finds the body.

MICKEY: Hayakawa... you again.

HAYAKAWA: I heard you, Mr. Mayor-to-Be. I heard you order those men to kill him. Now what? Do you feel like confessing to setting the propane bomb and blinding the only witness?

MICKEY: You're a fool if you think you can stand against the 5,800-member Viper Peace Society alone! I'll show you the suffering of hell, Hayakawa. Just as you deduced, it was I who destroyed those meddling kids and their shack! It was me!

HAYAKAWA: Mickey Hebiyama!

HAYAKAWA: I've been waiting to hear you confess!

MICKEY: Hold it!

MICKEY: No less than he deserves. Goodbye! Die with your guitar, little wanderer!

SHINKICHI: Mr. Hayakawa!

HAYAKAWA: Flight switch on!

MICKEY: What's that thing!?

MICKEY: Who the hell are you!?

HAYAKAWA: Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case! They call me the wandering hero... the Magnificent Zuvatt!

MICKEY: The Magnificent Zuvatt!?

HAYAKAWA: You used a propane explosion to murder a group of young people... and blinded the young girl who was witness to it! Mickey the Snake... you will pay!

[Insert Song]
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!

MICKEY: Master! Master! Come here! Master Jigoku-ichi!

JIGOKU: Yes, yes, yes... I'm right here.

MICKEY: There, master!

JIGOKU: Not bad... I thought I had you there.

[Opening Song/2nd Verse]
Since the day when I saw that view of hell
The only flame that burns in my heart
Is a blue-red flame, the fire of hate
Burn! Burn higher, and higher!

Zu-VATT, I'm on the scene! Zu-VATT, I solve the case!
My friend, my dear friend!
My friend, do you see this shower of sparks?
I am the Magnificent Zuvatt!

JIGOKU: You seem to have some skill. Now, I will open YOUR eyes!

MICKEY: Yeah! Get him!

HAYAKAWA: Only three minutes left...


MICKEY: You did it! Master, you got him, didn't you!?

JIGOKU: Mr. President... I've lost.

MICKEY: That guy didn't come cheap!

HAYAKAWA: Hebiyama, you must pay!

HAYAKAWA: Flight switch on!

HAYAKAWA: Hebiyama! You killed Asuka Goro, didn't you!

MICKEY: I didn't! I didn't!

HAYAKAWA: Then who did!?

MICKEY: I swear, I don't know!

HAYAKAWA: Just one minute left...

HAYAKAWA: Zuvatt Attack!

HAYAKAWA: Asuka... I've avenged the young people who were murdered just like you.

HAYAKAWA: I swear I will find the man who killed you, too.

CARD: This man was behind the propane gas explosion

DOCTOR: Now slowly, open your eyes.

MIKI: I can see! I'm healed!

MIDORI: I'm so glad, Miki!

[Ending Theme]
There is a road that a man must walk
That road is his to walk alone
When he devotes his life to a burning wish
He seeks what lies beyond the mountains

Through love and truth and suffering
The way of battle is like the fires of hell
And though he does not know what lies beyond...
That road is his to walk alone

NARRATOR: Dakkar tries all methods to achieve their goals! This time, innocent children are their targets! Don't let them go, Zuvatt! Snap the whip of justice!

NARRATOR: Next time on The Magnficent Zuvatt: Turn Back to the River of Tears!

NARRATOR: Zuvatt's stunts are dangerous, so please don't try them at home!

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